he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
