her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
