So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
