so explain again why im purple
no
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
