Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
