oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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