i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pants are for mortals
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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