Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there was a trapeze. enough said
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
