New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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