Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
