I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
