My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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