Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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