I am in a vortex of obligation.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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