is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We smell like vodka and hangover
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
