Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
