He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
