it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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