Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize