Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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