Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
