thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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