she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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