oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
