Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if only i could text you this smell
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
