so that wasnt chicken after all
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
