i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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