Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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