On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
