ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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