Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
