16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
