I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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