Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
