So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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