remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
