i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
