Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
