u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
