who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
do nipples grow back?
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