i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
