Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
