He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
