We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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