Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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