And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize