K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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