i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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