just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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