I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
