i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
